


As Every Color Illuminates

by RinChanSanMatsuoka



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Colors Soulmates, Fluff, Friendship, Heavy Angst, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Olympics, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SouRin Summer Fest, Soulmates, aka bath sharing, aka you see colors when you meet your soulmate, for the final chapter, heed archive warning, talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-07-23 21:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7481397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinChanSanMatsuoka/pseuds/RinChanSanMatsuoka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A summer in the lives of two soulmates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the ocean in our arms

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter of my fic for the Sourin Summer Fest! All the chapters will tie into together and I'll use most of the prompts!
> 
> Week 1: At The Beach  
> Warnings for this part: None

Sousuke watched Rin squat by the tide pool, gaze focused on a crab scuttling along the bottom.  Those long fingers dipped into the water, swirling it around slowly.  Sousuke remembered how those fingers felt laced between his as they had walked along the beach earlier.  Smiling softly, he moved to sit beside Rin, taking his free hand in his own.

Rin smiled, though his kept his gaze on the pool.  His hand slipped lower into the water, fingers gently poking a sea anemone, chuckling as the tendrils wrapped around his finger.

Feeling his heart swell, Sousuke leaned on Rin, simply watching him.  Sometimes, he wondered how they had gotten to this point, how he had gotten so lucky to have found his soulmate so early.

Red had been the first color he had ever seen, back in second grade when Rin entered his life.  Later, after they had become friends, Rin had admitted that the first color he had seen was the color of Sousuke’s eyes.  It had flustered Sousuke and, while he had refused to admit it, it had also made him extremely happy.  Rin wasn’t simply his soulmate; he was his best friend.

Turning to look at Rin, Sousuke watched the setting sun bathe him in a soft glow.  It made his hair look like fire, tied back in a short ponytail to keep it out of his face.  He wanted to free it, wanted to see the red strands spill around Rin’s face and brush against his bare shoulders.  Giving into the urge, Sousuke reached up, gently tugging the band out of Rin’s hair, smiling as that red fire cascaded forward.

“Sousuke?”  Rin’s voice broke the silence as Sousuke’s fingers threaded through his hair.  “You’re overthinking something again, aren’t you?”

“Just about how much I love the color red,” Sousuke murmured, leaning closer to press a kiss to Rin’s neck.

A blush crept its way up Rin’s face and he elbowed Sousuke, sending him toppling over sideways.  Sousuke simply laughed as he fell, using his grip on Rin’s hand to pull him down too.

Rin fell on top of him, huffing as he pushed his hair out of his face so he could frown at Sousuke.  “You’re ridiculous, you know?”

“Says the hopeless romantic.”

“I’m not hopeless.  I have you.”  A grin broke across Rin’s face as he spoke and Sousuke felt like the breath leave him.

He was definitely the luckiest man alive.  Reaching up, Sousuke pulled Rin down into a kiss.  It was slow and soft and he felt Rin relax against him.

Rin broke the kiss first but he stayed close, lips against Sousuke’s as he spoke.  “Sometimes I wish our lives could just be like this.  Slow and lazy.”

“You’re way too much of a busy person for that and you know it.  You’d get bored and antsy after a few days of laziness.”  Twirling a strand of Rin’s hair between his fingers, Sousuke smiled.  “Besides, we have our whole lives together to have lazy days like this.”

The blush returned to Rin’s face as he pressed closer, sealing their lips together once more.


	2. in the shadow of your heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke and Rin go to Tokyo Disneyland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Week 2: Travel/Roadtrip
> 
> Decided to have them head to Tokyo for vacation.

“Rin, we are not riding the Tower again.”

“Oh come on, Sousuke!  It’s fun!”  Rin whined, tugging on Sousuke’s arm, trying to pull him into line once more.

“We’ve been on it four times already,” Sousuke said, rolling his eyes at Rin’s undying enthusiasm.  “We’re never going to do anything else at this rate.  Besides, I thought you wanted to get matching hats.”

That made Rin pause, a frown working its way onto his face.  “Fine.  We’ll get matching hats.  And then some food.  Screaming on the ride made me hungry.”

“And yet you wanted to keep doing it.”  Sousuke nudged Rin, smiling softly at him.

“Shut up,” Rin grumbled, fingers finding the hem of Sousuke’s shirt and latching on.  “C’mon, I don’t want you getting lost.”

Sousuke softened at the gesture, knowing that it was about as intimate as Rin was comfortable with in such a public place.

“I won’t get lost, Rin.  I’d just look for your hair.”  Sousuke chucked as Rin elbowed him before tugging on his shirt, pulling him through the park.

* * *

Sousuke gently pulled the mouse ear hat off Rin’s head, setting it on the hotel nightstand as Rin curled deeper into the sheets.  With a smile, Sousuke nudged him gently, trying to get him to sit up.

“Rin, you need to change for bed.”

Rin grumbled something about being too tired, though he did sit up slowly.

“That’s no one’s fault but your own.  You just had to see everything, didn’t you?”  Laughing, Sousuke changed into a pair of sweats before helping Rin into his own pajamas.  As soon as Rin was changed, he fell back onto the bed once more, pressing his face into the pillow.

Getting into bed, Sousuke curled close to Rin, reaching up to run a hand through Rin’s hair.  His fingers threaded through the red strands and he leaned closer to press a kiss to Rin’s neck.

Rin turned his head, eyeing Sousuke sleepily.  “I had fun,” he said, voice muffled against the pillow.  “I’ve always wanted to go to Disneyland with you.”

“You’ve always talked about how it’s the perfect place for soulmates to go on a date.”  Sousuke smiled at the memory, fingers still playing with Rin’s hair.  “You wouldn’t shut up about it when we were kids.”

“So what?  It’s romantic!”  Huffing, Rin turned onto his side, facing away from Sousuke as he mock-pouted.

Simply following Rin’s movement, Sousuke pressed against his back, wrapping his arms around him.  “Never said it wasn’t,” Sousuke murmured into Rin’s neck.  Finding one of his hands, he laced their fingers together, savoring the touch he had missed in the parks.

“Idiot,” Rin said, though Sousuke could hear the smile in his voice.  “I’m just glad we could make it before visiting Makoto and Haru.”

“Mmm, yeah.  And then you’ll be gone, off to the Olympics.”  Sousuke’s arms tightened around Rin’s waist, pulling him closer.  “I’m so proud of you, Rin.”

Rin turned in his arms, just enough to make eye contact.  “I’ll win gold.  For both of us.  I swear it.”

“I know you will, Rin.  I’ve never been more sure of anything else.”  Smiling, Sousuke pressed a kiss to the corner of Rin’s mouth before settling down.  “Now get some sleep.  I can’t have the future gold medalist exhausting himself.”

“We’ll have to celebrate when I get back,” Rin mumbled, settling down as well.  “Love you, Sou.”

“Love you too.”  Sousuke smiled, knowing that nothing made him happier than simply spending time with Rin.


	3. that’s what the water gave us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin heads to Rio and Sousuke watches him from home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Week 5: Olympics
> 
> Decided to send Rin to Rio. Most of this was written while watching the games.

“I’m going to miss you,” Sousuke said softly.  He was standing as close to Rin as he dared in the airport, trying not to draw too much attention to himself.

Rin smiled, face full of warmth and love.  “I’ll miss you too.  But I won’t be gone that long.  And next time, you have to come with me okay?  It’ll be in Tokyo so I expect you there.”

Sousuke laughed, reaching forward to surreptitiously link his pinky with Rin’s.  “It’s a promise.  I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Good.  So you’re going back home for the games?”  Rin pressed a little closer, nudging his hip against Sousuke.

“Yeah.  Makoto, Gou and I are going to head home tomorrow.  We already made plans to watch yours and Haru’s races together.”  Sousuke’s smile widened and he nudged Rin back.  “We believe in you, Rin.  I know you can bring home the gold.”

“I’ll bring it home, Sou.  You’ll be the first person I let wear my medals.”  With a grin, Rin squeezed Sousuke’s pinky finger before letting go.  “I should go be with the rest of the team.  I’ll call you on Skype as soon as I can, okay?”

Sousuke nodded, glancing around quickly before pressing a quick kiss to the top of Rin’s head.  “Go show everyone what you’re made of.”

* * *

“Sousuke-kun, you’re fidgeting.”  Gou’s voice broke through Sousuke’s thoughts and he turned away from the train’s window.

He scowled, stilling the bouncing of his leg.  “I’m just nervous.  I want to be there with him.”

“We both want that.  But there’s always the games in Tokyo and we’re going to be cheering for them at home.  Rin knows that.”  Gou smiled, glancing over at Makoto.  “I’m sure Haru knows that as well.”

Makoto smiled as well, lowering his book into his lap.  “Before he left, the twins called him to tell him about how they were going to decorate the house with signs for Haru and Rin.  I’m sure it’ll be a sight to see once we get there.”  Laughing softly, he turned his smile to Sousuke.  “You can send Rin pictures if you want.”

“I'm sure he'd love seeing his name on banners like that,” Sousuke said, a smile melting away his frown.

Gou laughed and nodded, agreeing with Sousuke.  “He certainly does.  He’s going to love the cameras and reporters.  When we were kids, he used to talk about how he’d be interviewed for winning Olympic gold someday.”

“Rin will be great in front of the cameras.  I just hope he’ll be able to help Haru with interviews,” Makoto said, sounding nervous.

“Haru will be fine.  You need to stop worrying so much.  Didn’t you just tell me last week how much he’s grown since high school?”  Sousuke raised an eyebrow, watching Makoto.

“Well, yes, but…” 

“Makoto, he’ll be fine,” Gou said, cutting him off.  “Believe in Haru, okay?”

Makoto’s eyes widened for a moment before he nodded.  “I do.  I know he’ll be fine.”

Sousuke smiled before settling back in his seat and looking out the window again.  He was sure that they would be fine.

* * *

Makoto hadn’t been kidding when he said the twins had decorated his house.  Sousuke had just stood outside the front door, staring at the large signs of Rin and Haru’s names with Olympic medals drawn around them that were plastered to the door.

Gou had simply grinned and rung the bell.  They had decided to stay with their own families and travel to Makoto’s house every day in order not to crowd the Tachibana household too much.

Every day, the twins would drag them inside and push them over to the couch, bouncing around excitedly.  Ran would hog Gou’s attention, enjoying the presence of another girl while Ren would sit on the floor, eyes glued to the television.

Sousuke was fairly certain he had never felt tenser watching a race than he did now.  Even in the preliminary heats, he was on the edge of his seat, trying not to shout to cheer Rin on.  All of that restraint went out the window as Rin kept advancing, making it to the finals in each of his events.  He jumped off the couch each time, cheering for Rin along with Gou, who was jumping up and down beside him.

Even Makoto had taken to shouting whenever his friends qualified, clutching a banner Ren had shoved into his hands.

When Rin shattered a world record in the 100m butterfly, earning himself his first Olympic gold, Sousuke’s vision went _red._   He could see Rin’s color and feel his soulmates emotions.  Exuberant joy swept through him and he didn’t notice he was crying until Gou pointed it out to him.

The emotional sync happened again as Rin took two more golds in butterfly and freestyle, as well as getting a silver to Haru’s gold in another freestyle event.

Sousuke watched as Rin and Haru, along with Mikoshiba and Kirishima, who Makoto informed him had swum with Haru in middle school, earned gold in the 4x100 medley relay.  He watched as the cameras zoomed in on Rin pulling his team into a hug, tears of joy on his face.

Pride welled inside of Sousuke and he felt his eyes well with tears.  He waved off Makoto and Gou’s concern, shaking his head at them.  “He did it,” was all he managed to say.

“I knew he could,” Gou said, her own eyes wet.  “I always knew he could.”  Her voice cracked as she started crying as well, throwing her arms around Sousuke.

Sousuke held her close, trying to calm down.  He caught Makoto watching them, a bright smile on his face, and he returned it as best he could.

* * *

Sousuke would be lying if he said he hadn’t cried when talking to Rin over Skype after his events were over.  Rin had joined him and they’d simply sat there for a while, silence broken by the sound of their tears.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, giving Rin a smile.  “I love you so much.”

“I couldn’t have done this without you, Sou.”  Rin’s answering smile was shaky but genuine.  “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I’ll pick you up at the airport.  We can get a hotel before you have to do interviews.”  Sousuke watched Rin as he spoke, smiling as Rin’s crying slowed.

Rin smiled as he wiped his face.  “Sounds perfect, Sou.  I love you and I’ll see you then.”

* * *

The train ride back to Tokyo was silent, for the most part.  Makoto had fallen asleep and Sousuke assumed Gou had as well, until she stirred beside him.

“Sousuke-kun?”

Turning to look at her, Sousuke raised an eyebrow.  “What is it?  I thought you were asleep.”

“I slept for a bit.  But I’ve been thinking.  You still haven’t settled on something to study, have you?”  Gou raised an eyebrow at him in return.  Her tone was worried and Sousuke felt guilt for making her feel that way about him.

“I… I haven’t.  It’s hard to pick something when none of these things were my dream,” Sousuke confessed.

“There’s still a lot you can do with swimming, you know?  Makoto’s going to be a coach.  I know you’d be great at something like that.  Rin said you helped Nitori back in high school.”

Sousuke frowned, turning away from her to look out the window again.  “I thought about it.  I’d like to do something related to swimming but I worry that being by the pool again would just hurt too much.”  His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

For a few moments, Gou was silent and Sousuke wondered if she had even heard him.  When she spoke, it startled him, pulling his gaze away from the window.

“Does it hurt to see Rin swim?”  There was no smile on Gou’s face as she spoke, looking more serious than Sousuke could ever remember her being.

“No,” he answered instantly.  “Watching Rin swim is one of my favorite things.  Our bond lets me feel what he feels and it’s never bothered me.  I love it, actually.”  Admitting that brought a blush to his face and he covered it with his hand.

“Then what’s keeping you from doing something related to swimming?  You dreamed about swimming with Rin and that was taken from you and yet you’re not upset by it.  So I’m sure that you’ll be fine if you decide to go back to the swimming world.”  Finally, Gou smiled as she reached over to pat his arm.  “I won’t push you, Sousuke-kun, but you should really do something you love.”

Sousuke returned the smile, before saying, “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I can ask of you,” Gou replied before pulling a book out of her bag.  “Now I’ve really got some reading to catch up with.  I was too distracted by the games to focus on it.”

Nodding, Sousuke turned his attention back to the window, trying to process everything Gou had said.

* * *

The crowd in the airport made Sousuke uncomfortable.  There were too many people for his liking but he had promised Rin that he would pick him up.  He knew that even if he hadn’t promised, he would have come anyway, because it had been far too long since he had seen his soulmate.

Makoto had come with him to pick up Haru.  He leaned against the wall next to Sousuke, an easy-going smile on his face as he watched family members and reporters mill about the gate.

Focusing on his phone instead of the crowd, Sousuke watched the minutes go by, each one bringing Rin closer to him.  He couldn’t wait to see him again, to hold him in his arms and tell him how proud he was.

A cheer erupting from the crowd had Sousuke looking up, eyes immediately searching for Rin.  When he finally spotted a head of red hair among the athletes getting off the plane, he stood up straight, trying to catch Rin’s gaze.

Makoto started waving, trying to get Rin and Haru’s attention.  It took a moment before Rin spotted them and grinned, pushing his way through the crowd and dragging Haru behind him.

When the two Olympians finally reached them, Makoto pulled them both into an enormous bear hug.  “I’m so proud of you two!  I knew you could do it, I just knew you could!”

Rin’s grin only widened as he hugged Makoto back and Sousuke caught sight of a smile on Haru’s face before he was hiding it against Makoto’s shoulder.

Sousuke hung back, waiting until Rin squirmed out of Makoto’s arms.  He smiled, stepping close to Rin and pulling him into a hug, not caring that they weren’t alone.  “I’m so proud of you,” he said softly, murmuring into Rin’s hair.

“I couldn’t have done it without your support,” Rin whispered back, arms wrapping around Sousuke and squeezing briefly.  He pulled back after a moment, giving Sousuke a tired smile.  “Can we please go to the hotel?  I’m exhausted and really need a shower.”

“Yeah, we can do that.”  Sousuke smiled as he watched Rin say his goodbyes to Makoto and Haru.  He gave the two of them a small wave of his own before following Rin to claim his luggage.

* * *

Rin dropped his bags beside the door, rolling his shoulders to ease the stiffness in them.  “Before we shower, I’ve got something for you,” he said, dropping to his knees to rummage through his bags.  “Close your eyes.”

“I’m sure your souvenir can wait until after a shower, Rin,” Sousuke chided, though he did as he was asked and closed his eyes.

There was a soft clinking noise and Sousuke felt his heart skip.  His chest grew tighter as he felt Rin slip a cloth ribbon over his head.

“Open your eyes,” Rin whispered, voice close to Sousuke’s ear.

Again, he did as he was told, opening his eyes to stare down at the gold medal around his neck.  His fingers shook slightly as he touched the medal, remembering how Rin had won it.

“I didn’t want to pile all my medals on you so um, this is one of the butterfly ones.  I can show you the others if you want me to?”  Rin’s voice was quiet as he looked up at Sousuke, waiting for him to say something.

Sousuke stared at the medal, lifting it carefully to get a close look at it.  Not knowing what else to say, he let it fall gently to his chest before pulling Rin into a kiss.

Arms wrapped around his neck as Rin pressed closer, returning the kiss softly.  There was no desperation to it, just a gentle, familiar touch after being apart for so long.

When they pulled apart, Rin reached up to cup Sousuke’s face.  “Thank you for being there for me,” he whispered.

“Always,” Sousuke replied, running a hand through Rin’s hair to tuck it behind his ear.  “Ready for that shower?”

Rin laughed as he pulled away from Sousuke.  “God, yes.  Airplanes make me feel so gross.  Join me once you take that medal off.”  With a smile, he slipped into the bathroom, dropping clothes along the way.

* * *

“I missed this,” Rin said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.  He hummed softly as he leaned back against Sousuke’s chest, a smile on his face.  They had showered and were now soaking together in the tub.  It was a tight fit but Rin had been determined to make it work, claiming that it had been much too long since they’d shared a bath.

Sousuke smiled, pressing his face against the back of Rin’s neck.  “I missed you,” he murmured, pressing kisses to the skin.

Rin squirmed a bit and swatted at his arm, though he didn’t try to move away.  “Stupid, that tickles.”

“Fine, fine.”  Sousuke rested his head on Rin’s shoulder, wrapping his arms loosely around him.  “What’s your schedule like tomorrow?”

“Busy all day,” Rin groaned, pushing his hair back off his face.  “Lots of interviews with reporters and sponsors.  It’ll probably be like that for a few days.  I wish we had more time to just relax.”

Squeezing his arms around Rin in a quick hug, Sousuke pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’ll do fine.  Once you finally get a break, we’ll have a calm vacation together, okay?  I want to spend time with you before you head back to Australia.”

“I’d like that a lot.”  Turning slightly, Rin stole a quick kiss before sliding out of Sousuke’s arms.  “Come on, we’re turning into prunes and I want to sleep in a proper bed.  I swear sleeping on the plane gave me neck cramps.”

Sousuke watched as Rin dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist before finally getting out of the tub as well.  He dried off as well and followed Rin into the bedroom, catching the pair of boxers Rin threw at him.  Tugging them of without a word, he toweled his hair dry before tossing the towel aside and crawling into bed with Rin.

Rin curled close to his side, throwing an arm over his waist.  “I missed this too,” he mumbled, resting his head on Sousuke’s shoulder.

“So did I,” Sousuke said, pressing a kiss to the top of Rin’s head.  “Get some sleep.  You have a long day tomorrow.”

“Mmm, night Sou.”  Rin pulled a blanket over them before settling down completely, closing his eyes. 

It wasn’t long before Rin’s breath evened out as he fell asleep.  Sousuke watched him for a few moments, smiling softly, before closing his own eyes.

* * *

“Sou, wake up.”

Sousuke stirred a bit, cracking an eye open to see Rin hovering over him.  His boyfriend was fully dressed already, a duffle bag slung over his shoulders.

Rin smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to Sousuke’s forehead.  “I’ve got interviews to get to.  I’ll see you tonight, okay?  We can go out for dinner.  My treat.”

Sitting up, Sousuke wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist and pressed his face into his chest.  “Have a good day,” he mumbled, inhaling the familiar scent of Rin’s cologne.

“Well, I would if you let go of me,” Rin said, laughing softly as he patted the top of Sousuke’s head.

With one last squeeze, Sousuke let go and smiled up at Rin.  “You’ll be great, Mr. Olympian.”

Rin grinned and leaned down to steal a kiss before heading out the door.  “I’ll see you tonight, Sou!”


	4. i'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They celebrate Obon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Week 6: Matsuri/Obon  
> Warnings for this part: Angst and talk about death.
> 
> Also this takes place _before_ chapter three but it's not necessary to read them in chronological order.

Celebrating Obon in July was strange to him but Sousuke had agreed to celebrate it with Makoto and Haru while he and Rin were in Tokyo.  Rin had insisted, since he would be in Rio during Obon in August, so Sousuke had acquiesced.

He was currently hanging back with Makoto, watching Rin and Haru.  The other two had each gotten floating lanterns to send down the river.  Sousuke knew that Rin’s lantern was for his father and he couldn’t help but wonder about Haru.

“Did Haru lose someone he was close to?” he asked, turning to look at Makoto.

Makoto’s eyes widened briefly before he smiled sadly.  “His grandmother passed away when we were kids.”

“Oh.  Uh, sorry about that.”  Feeling awkward, Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck, turning his attention back to the other two.

“I suppose we’re lucky,” Makoto said.  “I mean, I’ve experienced loss before but not like this.  They lost someone they saw every day, that they looked up to.  I can’t imagine what that must be like.”

Sousuke stared at Rin’s back as he crouched down, setting the lantern in the water before turning to say something to Haru.  Haru simply nodded, setting his own lantern in the water as well.  Silence fell between the two of them as Rin leaned on Haru’s shoulder, watching the lanterns.

After a moment of watching them, Sousuke turned to look at Makoto again.  “I can’t imagine it either.  I remember when Rin lost his father and I thought I would never understand what that feels like.  I still can’t understand it and I know it might be naïve, but part of me hopes I’ll never have to.”

“I understand what you mean.  I don’t think it’s something anyone wants to experience.”  Makoto gave him a sad smile before looking over at Rin and Haru.  “Ah, they’re coming back.”  He waved at them, smile brightening.

Haru simply gave them a small nod of acknowledgement before moving over to Makoto.  He mumbled something Sousuke couldn’t hear but Makoto just smiled, so he assumed it couldn’t be anything serious.

“Sousuke.”

Rin’s very drew his attention to his left and Sousuke turned to face him, smiling softly.  “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Rin said, moving to stand next to Sousuke.  Addressing Makoto and Haru he said, “We’re going to head back to our hotel.  We’ll see you again tomorrow.”

“Ah, okay!  We’ll see you tomorrow.”  Makoto smiled brightly, giving them a small wave.

“Bye Rin.  Sousuke,” Haru said, nodding at each of them.

Returning Makoto’s wave, Rin gave them a small smile before turning to walk in the direction of the hotel.

Sousuke turned as well, easily falling into step beside Rin.  Silence stretched between them, comfortable at first but it quickly became uneasy.  Rin kept fidgeting, messing with the pendant around his neck or drumming his fingers against his leg as he walked.

“Are you thinking about him?”  The question was soft, in case the sudden break of silence would startle Rin.

“Yeah.  Guess it was kind of obvious?”  Rin glanced at him, a frown marring his features.  “I just…  I want to make him proud, you know?  I’m going to the Olympics, something he never got to do.”

Sousuke nudged him gently.  “I don’t think he ever would have changed his mind about what he did.  From everything you’ve told me and the short amount of time I knew him, he loved you.  He was so proud of you, Rin.  He never got to go to the Olympics, sure, but he got to have you.  And Gou.  He got a family.”

“He could have gotten gold,” Rin whispered, voice trembling.  Tears were collecting in his eyes and he scrubbed a hand across his eyes in an attempt to get rid of them.  “He could have been great but he gave it up for _me._ ”

Without a second thought, Sousuke reached out and pulled Rin into a hug, holding him close against his chest.  “Because you’re worth it, Rin.  Don’t ever think that you aren’t.”

Rin pressed his face into Sousuke’s shirt, taking shaky breaths as he tried to calm himself down.  Tears dampened Sousuke’s shirt but he ignored them, simply running a hand through Rin’s hair.

It took a few minutes before Rin finally calmed down enough to pull away.  His face was red and tear-stained and he rubbed at his face to dry it off, giving Sousuke a shaky smile.  “Thanks,” he mumbled, voice raspy. 

The scratchy sound of Rin’s voice made Sousuke want to wince.  He hated how it sounded because it meant Rin had been crying and that was something he had never been able to stand.  Especially when there was nothing he could do to automatically make things better.

“Anytime, Rin,” Sousuke said, smiling at him.  Offering his arm, he waited for Rin to take it before continuing their walk to the hotel.

Rin was quiet for the rest of the way, leaning on Sousuke in exhaustion from crying.  When they finally got to their hotel room, he toed off his shoes by the door before going to collapse onto the bed.

Sousuke sat beside him, running a hand through those red strands he loved so much.  “What’s bothering you?” he asked, moving his hand to poke the frown lines between Rin’s brows.

Shifting until he was on his back, Rin looked up at Sousuke, his frown lessening slightly.  “Do you think my dad saw it coming?  Did he know he was going to die and that he couldn’t do anything about it?”

“Rin…”

“Did he come to terms with it?  That he would be leaving us?  Me and Gou and mom…  What if he didn’t?  Did he die full of regrets?” Rin started to babble, speaking quickly.

“Rin, stop.”  Sousuke grabbed his arm gently, trying to ground him.  “Stop thinking about this.  It’ll only drive you crazy.”  Scooting further back onto the bed, he laid down and wrapped his arms around Rin.

Rin turned into the hug, wrapping his own arms around Sousuke.  “Sorry.  Tonight just… made me think.  I don’t want to die like that.  I don’t want to have any regrets, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know.  But you’ve got your whole life to figure things out.  You’re not dying anytime soon.  You’re going to win gold at the Olympics and keep going and keep winning.  We’re all behind you, Rin.”  Sousuke smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of Rin’s head.

“You’re right, like always,” Rin huffed, though the tone of his voice was light.  “We should get some sleep.”  Smiling, he stole a quick kiss from Sousuke before pulling out of the hug to go get changed.

Sousuke watched him, smiling as well, though he was still worried about Rin’s outburst.  Hopefully his boyfriend wouldn’t dwell on those thoughts.


	5. and i always say, we should be together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke and Rin spend some time together before Rin has to return to Australia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Week 7: Cold Treats 
> 
> Ahhh I'm late with this chapter. Sorry! No warnings for this one! And sorry it's so short.

“You still suck at janken pon, Sousuke,” Rin snickered, nudging Sousuke’s leg with his foot as he bit into his popsicle.

“I let you win,” Sousuke grumbled, sipping at the cola he had settled for.  “I’ve always let you win.”

Rin laughed, nudging him again before scooting to sit closer to him.  “You do not.  You’re a terrible liar.”  With a snicker, he held out his popsicle for Sousuke to have a taste.

Leaning forward, Sousuke took a careful bite from the treat, shivering as he sent a chill to his head.  Once the chill’s grip eased up, he leaned against Rin, smiling slightly.  “Fine, I don’t let you win.  I swear it’s like you can read my mind or something.”

“Who says I can’t?”  Rin laughed again, pressing back against Sousuke.  He glanced around the shrine, a bright smile plastered on his face.  “We made that bet here, remember?  When we were kids?  You _still_ haven’t told me what you want for your reward.”

“I already have everything I want,” Sousuke said, turning to give Rin that soft smile that sent his heart skipping.

Feeling his face heat up, Rin turned away, shoving the popsicle in his mouth.  “Idiot,” he grumbled around it, kicking Sousuke’s shin with his foot.

Sousuke simply laughed and leaned over Rin to press a kiss to his cheek.  “It’s the truth, though.  But I’ll try think of something while you’re back in Australia.”

Rin finally turned to look at him, a small frown on his face.  “You should just come with me.  Like I’ve said before.  You can do a lot of stuff in Australia and figure out what you’re going to do there, with me.”

“I know and I’ll tell you again; I want to find a new dream on my own.  I don’t want to drag you down and I need to do this for myself.”  Sousuke smiled and reached up to run a hand through Rin’s hair, tucking a strand behind his ear.  “We’re soulmates, Rin.  I’ll always come back to you so please just wait a bit more.  I _will_ join you.”

“You promise?”  Rin’s voice was quiet as he leaned into Sousuke’s hand.  His popsicle was forgotten, dripping melted juice onto his hand and the ground.  He would complain about the sticky mess later but for now, he didn’t want to take his attention off of Sousuke.

“I promise,” Sousuke said, leaning forward to press his lips against Rin’s, savoring the sweet taste of popsicle and Rin’s cherry chapstick.  “I’ll always find my way back to you.”


	6. with no colors in our skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They reach the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Week 8: My Sunshine
> 
> Very very heavy angst in this chapter. I tried foreshadowing for this and I'm not sure how successful I was at that... I briefly toyed around with changing the ending before going back to this one, which was the original ending. So, please head the heavy angst warning and the fact that this fic is tagged with "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings" because it would have been a massive spoiler. I also didn't really use the prompt explicitly but... oh well.
> 
> Thank you for everyone who took the time to leave comments! This is my first finished chapter fic and I appreciate all the support.

The world felt muted, as though someone had left a painting out in the sun for years and it had faded to the point of being unrecognizable.  The vibrancy of the world that Sousuke had come to know and love was gone, replaced with colors that bled together, mixing into a muddled mess that eventually turned to gray.  He hadn’t seen this much gray in the world since he was a child and it was something he had never wanted to see again.

No matter how much he hoped that things would take a turn for the better, the colors continued to leave him one by one, until a week had passed and only one color remained.

Sousuke sighed against the subway train door, watching as blurs of gray, interrupted by rare streaks of color, zipped past.  His fingers curled around a small velvet box in his coat pocket, picking at the seam and lifting the lid over and over again.  The fidgeting did not ease him; instead, it served to remind him of what would never come to pass.

When he heard the name for his station, Sousuke straightened up, pulling his hand out of his pocket.  He took a deep breath, trying to collect himself.  Despair weighed heavily in his chest, oppressive and threatening to choke him.  He shook his head, trying to ignore the feeling that today would be the last time he made this trip.

The journey from the station to the hospital was a familiar one and despite Sousuke’s tendency to get lost, his feet carried him there with ease.  He hesitated in front of the building, as he always had done during this past week, staring at the red cross on the doors.  Red was the only color he could still see, vibrant and bright in a world full of gray.  It was funny, really, that this would be the last color left in his world when all he could associate it with now was blood smeared across the wet asphalt.

A shaky breath escaped his lips as he pulled the doors open and walked inside.  Giving a small nod to the receptionist, Sousuke walked down the hallways, making his way to the ICU.  After just a week, his feet had already remembered the route and some days he wished that they would just get him lost, make him wander the hospital rather than confront what was waiting for him.

Instead, they once again betrayed him, bringing him to a room he had come to despise.  A nurse spotted him and made her way over, a fake smile on her face.  Sousuke had talked to her every day but he couldn’t remember her name.  He couldn’t remember any of the doctors’ names either.  Maybe his mind was trying to distance itself from getting to know these people, because that would make the situation all the more real.

“Yamazaki-san, can you tell me what colors you can see on this chart?”

Glancing at her, he saw the same chart with a color wheel in her hands that she had held up every day.  He sighed, before saying, “Red.”

“And the others?” she asks, voice strained, as though she knows exactly what he is going to say but just needed the confirmation.

Sousuke licks his lips, hesitating as he stares at the color wheel, knowing what each of the colors is supposed to look like but all he sees is gray.  The same damnable gray that has been slowly creeping into his world and stealing the very life from it.

“Gray,” he rasps out, throat feeling tight.  He coughs, trying to clear it before speaking again, “All of them are gray.”

The look she gave him confirmed that this was the answer she had been expecting.  “I…  He’s worsened further.  Unless there’s a miracle, he won’t last much longer.  I’m so sorry.”  She pats his arm gently before going to the door of the hospital room and holding it open for him.

Hesitating, Sousuke stared at the door, trying to catch his breath as his chest tightened.  He knew it wasn’t just grief causing him to feel this way.  The connection between them was telling him that the end was close, that things would be over soon and he wanted to delay that for as long as possible.

Gritting his teeth, he walked past the nurse and into the room, the familiar sounds of machines filling his ears.  His eyes flitted over them, trying to understand the readings, before landing on the unconscious figure on the bed.

Red strands of hair peeked out from underneath the gauze that wrapped around Rin’s head.  Sousuke’s hand moved to touch them, frowning at how greasy and unwashed the once beautiful hair felt between his fingers.  His eyes avoided the other side of Rin’s head, where the hair had been shorn away for surgery.  A surgery that had done nothing to bring Rin back to him.

Grabbing a chair and placing to by the bed, Sousuke sat down, eyes flicking between Rin’s face and the machines.  His eyes lingered on the bandages for a moment before he tore them away as memories of Rin lying motionless, bleeding and broken on a rain covered street had bile rising in his throat.  Swallowing thickly, he reached out and took Rin’s left hand in both of his, running his thumbs over the pale skin gently.

“They caught the man who hit you,” Sousuke said, feeling his throat scratch as he tried to fight down his emotions.  “He lost control because of the rain and he’s going to prison for driving off.  I wish I could say I’m happy about that but that won’t bring you back to me.”

The lack of response made Sousuke bite his lip and his hands tightened around Rin’s smaller one.  “The doctors and nurses say you’re getting worse.  I don’t want to believe it but… red is all I can see now.  Because you’re still holding on, despite everything.  Rin, I… I hate seeing you like this,” Sousuke whispered, lifting Rin’s hand to hold it against his cheek.  “I don’t… Fuck, Rin, I miss you and I’ll always miss you but please… Don’t hold on and suffer just for me.”

It hurt to say those words.  A large, selfish part of Sousuke wanted to beg Rin to stay but the smaller, rational part of him knew that neither of them would be happy with Rin lying in a hospital bed, brain dead and hooked up to machines for the rest of his life.

A tear slipped down Sousuke’s cheek and before he could stop himself, he found himself crying and kissing Rin’s hand, murmuring “I love you” over and over between his sobs.  He didn’t know how long he sat there crying but eventually the tears ran dry and he attempted to collect himself.

Taking the velvet box out of his coat, Sousuke opened it, watching as the gold band sparkled in the light.  He took the ring out of the box and gently slipped it onto Rin’s ring finger.  It was a perfect fit, just like he knew it would be.  “I was going to give this to you in Australia,” he said, voice still shaking from his crying spell. 

Leaning forward, he brushed a kiss against Rin’s cheek, ignoring the bruises on Rin’s skin.  “I love you so much, Rin and I wish I could have given this to you under better circumstances.”  He sighed and kissed Rin’s forehead, avoiding the gauze.  “I hope you found whatever answers you were looking for during Obon.  I don’t know what I think, yet, but I know this; we’re soulmates and we will find each other again.  So, I wanted to give you the ring now, because even if you can’t hear me, that’s my promise to you.”

Sousuke smiled sadly before leaning down and placing a chaste kiss to Rin’s lips.  He held the kiss for a moment before pulling back and whispering, “Goodbye, Rin,” as the machines connected to Rin all flat lined.

The last color Sousuke saw was the red of Rin’s hair before it, too, faded back into gray.


End file.
